The Test I Passed

The devil thought he had me-eeee ahhhhhhh but-uh-ruuuuh

Sooooo remember that test I halfway past (that some thought I failed <--- who cares its my blog) well I'll have you know I had another encounter with the girlfriend of my sons father who I thought was a friend. Now if you didn't read my blog 'the test I half way passed' GETCHO LYFE and then come back and read this one! 

So yea the last test didn't go we'll but ahhh this one did. The ramification of the planned meeting is...NONE YA BIT'NEEX (touch ur nose and try NOT to use your imagination! LOL)  Know that None of this and I repeat NONE of this happened w/o Good ol' God so He gets all the glory and I thank Him <praise break>. 

So yea I have been battling forgiving this young lady a looooooong time...1 year 4months....10days....9hours....36minutes...59seconds. So many emotions, so many tears, so much bitterness, confusion, resentment and all other negative words associated with the afore mentioned. 

I have known unforgiveness was is an issue because The bible speaks on it ALOT but my emotions and feelings were running rampant and I was trying to reason with God and everybody else that she hurt me and trying to figure out why I had to let it go...move on...forgive her for "hurting me" I couldn't get it. Well my Naomi (spiritual mother) did what she does best and said something about me I DIDN'T like at the time that caused me to slide back and talk to God and really seek Him to deliver and heal and just do what He does best. In that time studied and prayed about forgiveness and asked God to help me understand it fully so that I could truly forgive the young lady in my heart because I knew it displeased God and she was a sister in Christ and He don't like His chirren to be at odds ( that's in the bible too, dust yours off and read it j/k..maybe). He did just what I asked. Every time I turned on the radio or looked at twitter or tuned into a Joyce Meyer podcast it was on forgiveness. I was excited because I knew he was providing me with what I needed. 

I had been thinking about how am I going to meet with her or get her to agree to talk face to face so we can settle it and I can be free from unforgiveness and we can be cordial because we share friends and she just maybe my sons stepmom if his dad doesn't mess this one up LOL! I wrote a letter and was going to have someone give it to her at a wedding in December but that was too far out for me! And then I found our friend had her bridal shower and didn't invite or tell me about it because the young lady helped plan it and I still feel some kinda way about that because that's a one time event BUT that's all ima say about that because I knew why its just.....anyway...so I called and cried to my good friend who is also a bridesmaid (too much friend sharing around here!) and told her how I felt and what I had been going through spiritually and she agreed to help set up a meeting and be a mediator and it happened and we talked peacefully getting out both sides and glory be to God! 

I don't do long blogs so I'm stopping now. Part 2 coming soon on what I learned about forgiveness and how important it is. If anybody is dealing with unforgiveness I just graduated with my PhD (personal healing degree) in it so if you need help contact me and I will tell you what I learned and pray with/for you if need be <----it's that serious. 

We go through to help others when it's there turn to make it through.

Thanks to Coco, Kris10 and Beda oh and I can't for get Leeyah

It's illegal to Spank your Child?!

I'm putting on my invisibility cloak as I type this. I think its important for people to see that Christians fall sometimes and go through and that we need the Word of the Lord to keep us from doing so....to correct us....show us the right way. ( that's a whole-nother blog right there! )

Sooooo if you are my "friend" on FB you might have saw my rant about me telling a lady off about telling me how to discipline MY son. If you didn't , looooong story short Aiden fell out in a store and we left, I sat him in the car and was explaining to him that when he falls out in public it constitutes a spanking, he understood. A lady asked if everything was ok with him blah blah blah and told me that I'm not suppose to spank my child. WELL y'all Candi flipped...bump stumbling I fell...and cursed her smoooooth out! <------ NOT indicative of a Christian to be clear, that was pure flesh. In that moment I felt justified. Not that I was justified in cursing out but in being upset with her. I couldn't believe some stranger tried to tell me how to discipline or the lack thereof the child that I carried and pushed out my body WHAAAAAAAT....that aunt it...a bystander told the police I was beating a child in my car (not only a lie but CRAY CRAY)so He came and checked into the matter and apologized for having to bother me after hearing both side "Just doing my job"...."me too".

 Got me to thinking...

1. So is spanking YOUR child illegal?
2. Should you not spank YOUR child in public when they act up out of fear that someone who
doesn't discipline their child ( if they even have any) will reprimand you the parent or tell the authorities what they please?
3. If you can't spank/pop YOUR child in public what are your options? ( me personally I don't want my child thinking that falling out and screaming in public is acceptable, if I wait 30min to spank him when we get home...I'll prolly forget thus NOT reinforcing the bad behavior)?
4. What should you do when confronted by someone you don't know who has a problem with how you handle YOUR child?

NOW i don't have the answers to all the questions but I do know that spanking your child is NOT illegal. I got some good godly advice about the last one. Aidens dear, sweet aunty informed me sweetly that instead of going off I should have used the opportunity to witness and explain godly discipline. After I simmered down I realized that she was right! Ugh I was so upset with me...I always pop off at the mouth before I even have a chance to even think about thinking! So of course I had to go and tell God how ugly I acted and apologize and ask forgiveness and then look into wat a proper response should have been and shall be in the instance that occurs again (pray church).

So parents, future parents, aunties. uncles and grannies! If someone ever tries to correct you on how you discipline YOUR child their are many instances in the bible that can be used to witness or to explain why you do what you do. You can share on proper discipline or use the analogy of how God disciplines those He calls His children.

Parental discipline:
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. (Proverbs 13:24 NKJV)

*Don’t fail to discipline your children.
They won’t die if you spank them. Physical discipline
may well save them from death. (Proverbs 23:13, 14 NLT)

God disciplines his children:
Hebrews 12:5-11

Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you for your own good. (Deuteronomy 8:5 NLT)

References
In the KJV the word chasten is normally used in place of discipline. The concordance on blueletterbible.com has both under Strongs number H4148 (H  = Hebrew)

1) discipline, chastening,correction

     a. discipline

     b. correction, chasening

Merriam Webster defines chasten as

      1: to correct by punishment or suffering 

Merriam Webster define discipline as

      1: punishment

Other verses: 2 Samuel 7:14; Job 5:17; Psalms 94:18; 119:75; Proverbs 3:11; Isaiah 38:16: Corinthians 11:32; Revelations 3:19

Can you discipline without soanking? of course but some things need physical discipline ( ie, falling out on the floor in stores)

Ima Put it Down You Gone Fall in Love

Sooo my booski @ShantiKWright blogs some awesome stuff @ mystepshisjourney@weebly.com and today I caught up on them. She wrote one entitled Ima put it down you gone fall in love which is a song by Brandy and Chris Brown that talks of having sex with someone and falling in love ....ANYWHO...her blog was about not one falling in love after hot steamy sex but after having let ones guard down <---- catchy title right! She talked about how she has been good at guarding her heart questioning herself as to whether she guarded it so much so that she missed out on some good ones.

Well I decided to do my own version because I go through the same thing.....but in reverse <----> I let my guard down to quick and too easy I feel <------ guess that explains why I have been hurt so many times. Ima put it down you gone fall in love, yea that's what I thought...WRONG!  Me putting my guard down didn't cause any of the randoms of my pass to fall in love CLEARLY because I'm extra single. I thought that me opening up would show them I wasn't hard or not interested, that I was down WELP  let me be the first tah tell you for free..."putting in down in any shape, way or form, be it your guard or your cookies doesn't make em' fall in love". 

I don't know much about guarding the heart so I won't speak on it as if I do but if you can comment and help a sista out that would be a bunch of awesome (fyi commenting anonymously is easy if you are insecure about your info...as if its not already readily available). What I do know is that the Good Book says in Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. <----- underline that in your bibles church...underline that twice...and then highlight it...and book mark the page

Sooooo Candi doesn't have commintary she has question! You can post here or on FB if that's easier but I do want to and love hearing from any and all who take the time out to read my blog. ( Im getting all sentimintal about my readers I forgot I had question!)

1. How do you guard your heart? (biblical or personal experience and tips)
2. Is there a such thing as guarding your heart too much?
3. How do you know when to "put it down"?

Murderous Beauty

Soooooo hello hello hello! Ya missed me? No? Yes?!  OK so I went to Spoken Word at the Ritz which is held the first Thursday of every month by the way and for the FREE and this young lady read a poem about beauty and people loving themselves and yadah yadah yadah...it was good though, she caught my attention when she said "beauty can be murderous" and it got me thinking so hear I am and there u are ...reading.

Beauty...what the heck is that? At this point nobody knows or at least society has so distorted beauty that it really is in the eyes of the beholder. To some a BIG BOOTY GUH is beauty....to some a big bust...long lashes...long hair. Some like certain skin tones...races... a particular ethnicity. 

At some point in our lives we battle with beauty, some having lost the battle. For most women the battle begins at a young age when you want to hang with the popular girls or you get picked on for having curly hair, a big nose, a small nose, freckles and THEN you get talked about for having big boobs...not so big boobs...weave...short nails...being skinny or being thick/borderline fat trying to keep up with the look of the video vixen and THEN that escalates to needing surgery for larger breast, hips, butt and baggy under eyes, firming cremes and killing yourself in the gym because the magazines and infomercials say you need to look like a real Barbie. 

We strive so much to keep up with society says is beautiful, killing who we are as individuals...killing our self esteem and in some cases killing ourselves because the pressure to looking like societies version of beauty.

Ah but we can know true beauty. BEAUTY IS 1 Peter 3:3-4 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
                                                           Beauty is found on the inside, its how you treat yourself and others, its your smile, your character. A pretty face with an ugly attitude is just ugly.

Remember: charm  is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. (Proverbs 31:30 NLT)

Declare: I will praise You, for I am fearfully  and  wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And  that  my soul knows very well. (Psalm 139:14 NKJV)

You are beautiful just the way you are. Don't be a victim of "beauty"...embrace yours.