Check Yaself B4 Ya Reck Yaself!

"Self -examination gives us an opportunity to do what needs to be done before God has to do it for us." - Bishop Van McLaughlin

I was so touched,pricked,convicted, spoken to by the word taught by Bishop Van McLaughlin of The Potters House International Ministries TA-night I just wanted to share my notes.

He titled his teaching : How did you do last year? Pass or Fail

Verse of Scripture was 2 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT) Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you[a]; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.

After he read that verse you didn't hear amen...you heard everybody go uhmmm, I'm talking immediate conviction fell over the sanctuary. He could have read that verse and just took the offering and closed it on out!!! 

Bishop McLaughlin gave 7 parts of "The Test" for us to examine ourselves against to see how well we did spiritually.

1. Personal Holiness: So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1, 2 MSG)

     - were you dedicated to God? Romans 6:13

2. Conduct: So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. (Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT)

     -did you represent Christ only on Sunday's? Only on social media? Only in church?

3. Influence: Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence  and  your praiseworthy, noble,  and  good deeds and recognize  and  honor  and  praise  and  glorify your Father Who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 AMP)

     -have you influenced those around you or have they influenced you?

4. Your Love: Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. (1 John 3:18 NLT)

    - did you only love those who loved you?

5. Attitude: You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5, 8 NLT)

6. Giving: “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! “But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ “You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. (Malachi 3:8 NLT)

7. Your Witness: But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8 NLT)

     -have you been a witness at school, work, home,etc? Or do you keep the good news to yourself...

Our "Professor", God, is in the business of giving make up work so you can pass the test. The test is pass or fail only. Heaven or hell. Saved or not. 

You can't go back in the past but you can repent of what you have done and trust God to deliver and keep you. 

Candi's ComMINT

Yea this message was good and much needed. I promise everyone their that night was in thought because it was hush hush all ova with a few Amens. The scriptures were on point. After listening I wanted to say to myself I didn't do to bad...but being that it was pass or or fail...I failed. I went through major heartbreak which led to unforgiveness and anger, struggled in my finances (lack of self control), fell to temptation, and I could go on. So grateful God is my Teacher and that he has shown me something's and I want to take what I learned from Bishop and apply it and seek God to help me so I can pass the test. So glad He lets us redo and that He is patient. For those of us who know better we have got to do better and stop putting on for social media and Sunday church goers because God is watching us at all times. 

Hope this helps someone, love ya readers! 

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:9 NLT)

Officially Unofficial

Yep this is about those that are together BUT not really. Like is it just me or is this the new dating?! 

Ok so you met Mr.Right Now and everything is going great. He sends the "good morning beautiful " text, checks on you during lunch, and wants to actually spend time and get to know you unlike what I call these 'now-a-dayz' ninjas...ur needs are met emotionally and things are good. <=== sounds like a relationship to me but its not officially...Some men feel that this is the best relationship to be in no strings attached no ball and chain so when the going gets tough...he is outta there.

So you are happy cooking and cleaning and feeling all bubbly and loved giving up your cookies and I ain't talking Tollhouse! You want the relationship to go further but you don't want to bring it up because he hasn't. Well let me tell you sista girl ===> If you don't, he won't <===that was free of charge! I mean why would he?!?! You already playing the role so what would make him....buy the cow if he is already getting the milk?
You always telling your homegirl about Mista Mista and everybody confused because it looks like a relationship and sounds like one but when asked about it you don't really have an answer. NO, you give the answer that he has been giving you ===> "We just chilling and its good now, whatever happens...happens" <=== Oh hell to the NO! That may be fluffy and cute at first but after investing so much time and electricity into cooked meals and what-not some conversations need to be had and some decisions made.

After spending so much time with a person they should know whether or not the relationship will go further. Now a dayz you need a witness and a notary on deck for some of these relationships...better yet just don't assume you are in one if it hasn't been discussed even if you feel like you are in one. Feelings are fickle and so are relationships without titles (or understanding).

Now what I don't understand is why so many woman settle and stay in these unofficial relationships. Maybe I could understand if there were no complaining but to complain about being in a situation that you can use your two feet to walk out of is what I don't get. I asked a few woman and they said complacency and financial security were the main reason they have stayed in such an arrangement. How long is your security though? You put in the time and someone else comes along and gives your dude an "I'm not with that elusve-ish" ultimatum and she gets the commitment and you get the curb! <=== Sista girl you really don't want that type of pressure and I don't wana see you on the next episode of Snapped or How I Almost Got Away...#ijs. 

"Sure nobody wants to be lonely but sometimes it beats being a fool" - Candi Renee

*Verbalize expectations, needs, and wants early on in a relationship
*ASSume nothing...ask

Bah Humbug and a Merry CHRISTmas!

I come in contact with so many people on my job being that I am a receptionist of a hospital...duh! I love the Holidays yet I hate the Holidays. Everyday and most of the day I get asked "Are you ready for Christmas?" <===== soooo tired of people asking me this UGH.

So the guy at work asked me "Are you ready for Christmas"
                                                                                     "What does that mean?", replied/asked
"Oh you Scrooge!", he said (jokingly)

The next day he came to the desk and told me when someone ask "Are you ready for Christmas" they are inquiring of if you have all your shopping done, if the tree is up, if the groceries are on deck. CHYLE to the BOO!!!! Thats dat ____ I don't like (I need the hook to this song outta my head). And THUS the reason I hate the Holidays. Christmas has become the season of debt, being dubbed a bad parent if you don't get ur lil bae-bae kids what they want, people being trampled in stores, chaos in the parking lots just MADNESS. I went to Toys R Us and yall should have seen the parents and other adults in there it was like the end of times scrambling to buy gifts...going broke for one day out the year and then December 26th hits and reality kicks the door right on in. 

I mean when did Christmas become all about gifts? What does Christmas really mean? Its sooooo much out there about what Christmas really is its ridiculous but what it is not or should not be is a battle of who can buy the most. 

True story yo, Christmas has been around since foreverary! The word Christmas comes from the Old English Cristes Maesse, which means "the Mass of Christ." To me and many Christians and some who "claim" to be, Christmas is celebrated to remember the birth of Christ. <=== And THUS the reason I love the Holidays! Yessss to SWEET BABY JESUS! * Luke 2:1-35 has the most detailed account about the birth of Christ in the bible and Matthew 2:1-12 details the wise men's encounter. Soooooo after having re-read these passages (12-17-12) I AM READY for CHRISTmas!

I am ready to thank the Lord!
I am ready to praise and rejoice!
I am ready to love!
I am ready to give (and not just gifts)! 
I am ready to fellowship!

Bah Humbug and a Merry CHRISTmas to ALL!

Celibacy Is a Piece of Cake

Yea I said it!!!! Celibacy is easy. It's easy now...I sit and think of the effects sex outta marriage has had on my life and MAN if I could turn back the hands of time and listen. Well not listen because nobody told me not to have sex, I never had the birds and bee's talk with my folks. I just wish I knew what i know now.

Soul ties...heart ache...heart break...bitterness...jealousy...insecurities...pain...pregnancy scares...pregnancy...tears...more tears

Anywayyyyyyz so yea since I been tryng to strengthen my walk and be obedient as it pertains to my body it's been ok I guess...well it has. The more time I spend with God the easier it gets to keep the lid on the Candi jar, the easier it is to say no IM GOOD! Also being that I'm no Sister Mary Clarence I think back to the fact that each person I gave my body to is no longer around soooooo why would I wana keep giving it up, giving away a piece of me...tying my soul to so many <=== when I think about that it makes celibacy easy. 

Hanging around like minded people and having accountability partners makes it easier to clink it on down. If you always running wit Miss Hot Pants u may be a lil more apt to opening your candi jar, LOL! Celibacy is also easier when you are cognizant of your surroundings. You know where need and need to be. Lately i have dabbled back in the club scene and BAYYYBAY I be wanting touch everything with a healthy back that passes...I literally have to tell my flesh to keep her hands to herself! So yea I need to find other alternatives on the weekends. 

Anyone with a penis can gas  me up and dick me down pleasure me. Celibacy has become easier [now] because I want more than a one night stand, more than a "wyd" text late at night, more than meaning-less sex.  I want intimacy, a friend, someone that takes time and really gets to know who I am and not what I feel like. I rarely get the desire to have sex because when I keep my mind on God I don't think about what my body wants and when I do depending on where I am I find the nearest exit and I pray...without ceasing, LOL.

Was reading a blog that said the quickest way to get rid of a random who doesn't really care about who you are is to tell them you're celibate. The author, Miss Aleck, said its instant repellant. HA! 

So yea I'M CELIBATE and its a piece of cake

-Candi Renee

 

Don't Force Me LGBT...

I asked nicely...

*Disclaimer* there is NO disclaimer some will like this post and some won't AND THATS FINE because I'ma LOVE THEM anyway.

I have watched gay protestor, ACLU and LGBT attack and slander anyone who disagrees with them from gay marriage, to people of the opposite sex using certain bathrooms and dressing room, getting married in churches et cetera ET CETERA and so forth as well.

NOW the issue of lebianism, gay, bisexual, and transgender...(NO disclaimer remember...) if a man wants to be with a man and a woman with a woman THAT is their business. I don't get it, never will and do NOT agree with the lifestyle and THAT is MY business...thank you.......thank you very much (Elvis vc). WHAT I DON'T LIKE is some LGBT supporters trying to FORCE everyone to agree with their lifestyle!!! I have watched on social as some attack people verbally about simply disagreeing with what they are doing, calling people who believe in heterosexual marriage and etc ignorant bigots...seriously?!

The Chick Fil A incident really did it for me because the owner never attack a person he just simply stated he agreed with heterosexual marriage and they were mad at him for using HIS money how HE wanted...huhn...they called him and his supportes all types of bigots.

Merriam states that a bigot (noun) is a person who is intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially one who treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance

hmmm....

Since when did disagreeing or having your own opinion become offensive in the land of the free and home of the Atlanta Braves?! So im a bigot because I stand firm in MY beliefs?!

I know a few people who practice homosexuality and they are nice and sweet and all things kind <=== that doesn't change the fact that I don't agree with or endorse their lifestyles nor does it change the fact that I love them. I think gay supporters and the like need to sit and listen sometimes and stop trying so hard to get/argue/FORCE everyone to accept their way of life and just live how they want. There are some poeple who attack LGBT but there are others who don't attack the person they just don't agree with the lifestyle and get called a bigot by a bigot...

If someone steps to me on some homosexual stuff they betta come correct. I don't know karate but I know ka-razy! IJS, lol. I'll gladly explain my views but I won't debate or argue about it and then afterwards we can talk about whateva just not about their sexual life, thats all I ask..spare me the details of your love life. People complain about Christians forcing their beliefs on them but its cool if they do it <===NOT! Do you and live your life but don't force me to agree.

Share your stance peacefully...but don't force it on people and hopefully they will love you for who you are and not what you do.

Easy Bakes for...BOYs?!

I was talking to @TheM0nal1sa about writing a blog about homosexaulity and out of that birthed a great conversation about Hasbro changing the Easy Bake Oven from pink to a neutral color so little boys can use it, making gender neutral (whaaaaaaat?), FORCING people to agree with certain lifestyle...et cetera ET CETERA.

Girls play wit girl toys (dolls, houses, ovens) and boys play wit boy toys (trucks, swords, action figures) <=== all of a sudden [but not really sudden] this is a problem. Because of protest and whatNot there are talks that Hasbro is changing the color of the easy bake oven to a gender neutral color so little boys can bake little cute cupcakess and pastries *sigh* A little girls family was appaled that they only came in girl colors because their 4 yr old son asked for one for Christmas. NEWS FLASH ** THEY BEEN IN PINK SINCE 1963**

Madame Noire did a twitter poll asking "what do you think about Hasbro making the easy bake oven gender neutral"
@TheM0nal1sa answered "gender is instrinsically not neutral you are either man or woman (XY or XX chromosome) why are we trying trying to make things gender neutral probably trying to appease the LGBT community"
some person responded "that doesn't make any sense, ovens don't have genders"

Now back in the day women were in the kitchen while men were working but now of course some men do know how to cook which some guy stated. So does this mean we take an innocent toy that was ALWAYS geared towards little girls and make it so boys can use? Are they going to stop selling barbies and anything thats pink? Are they going to stop making blue toys so little girls can feel comfy if they are tom-boy-ish? I think anything you can do I can do better stuff is getting outta hand. I am tired of a small group of people getting upset that things aren't neutral so they protest and cause havoc getting companies and laws and whatever else they want change to THEIR benefit. Because one little boy wants what has ALWAYS been a girl toy now people are outraged so they get 40,000 signatures to shake things up. 40,000 kids or adults???? Who does it really matter too? Do the kids care about the colors or some adults who want parents to tell their little boys its ok to play dress up, and bake and put on lip stick...hmmm

Can gender[ female or male] be neutral? Is it really that big of a deal? Are they going to petition for the defintion to be changed next? Hmmm Idk but what I do know ===> you either have a penis or a vagina from birth point.blank_period. <===well what about hemaphrodites you ask?! check there chromosomes! XY or XX...Man or woman...now whether you want to act like the other gender is your business but you can not be both...when women start ejaculating semen and a man born of a woman has a baby then we can talk neutral.

If you aren't classified as male or female then what are you? Whats in between that? Whats neutral...An It?

When Tragedy Strikes

Social media and the news are buzzing  about the Sandy Hook Elementary #schoolshooting it's everywhere and being talk about by everyone. Adam Lanza 20 years old enter a school and the end result was 26 casualties; 6 adults and 20 children. My first feeling was of sadness and bewilderment....how could someone shoot up little babies? Then the sadness became compassion because I as a parent can NOT imagine being told that the very place where your child is suppose to be safe is now the crime scene roped in tape surrounded by hurt, pain, tears, frantic chaos and uncertainty. My mind won't even allow me to imagine the scene, too imagine those little precious bodies.

Times like these we all band together and call on God and on each other. People that don't talk to God privately pray openly on cameras and social media. Faith is allegedly restored in the country briefly and we all cherish our families and love them and hug them and call them to maybe to hash out differences when tragedy strikes.  

When tragedy strikes religion is birthed for a moment until the smoke settles. For a moment we can say God and have faith when we normally get persecuted for saying such things or for praying....but when tragedy strikes its ok.

Don't wait until tragedy strikes to pray....to love...to forgive or give a hug...to kiss you kids...to have faith...to call on God. Do those things while today is today because tomorrow is never promised. 

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing

You're only human...right?

"You're only human...u might as well ______."

Ok show of hands...who has heard someone say this?! Ugh this warms my insides [not in a good way] when I hear this, and don't let it be out the same person mouth over and over...If I catch you saying it I'ma chop you in the throat...oh...sorry I was in the moment...oopsy

Are we humans...yes BUT this should NOT be an excuse to do or say what we want and that goes for me or anyone else. OH you don't believe me?! Lets take a lil gander at The Good ol' Word:

1 Peter 2:16 NLT For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil.

Galatians 5:13  For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful [human] nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.

** Galatians 5:16-26 is the passage that explain these verses 

The fact that we are human makes us [we] need Jesus all the more. Jesus came that we might have power over sin. We chose whether or not we will give into to our human nature or not...Alot of times I want to do what I want and say what I want and as a Christian I struggle but I rather go down with a fight. I think hmmm...to do what I want and gratify my flesh temporarily and have to repent for a planned sin or choose to do the opposite. And to be honest sometimes I fail and I do what I want but sin and disobedience cost ya! trust that!

Are Christians perfect..no BUT if you are claiming salvation and yet you are comfortable in sin there is a problem with that...Jesus died for our sins and gives us power to overcome. Its a matter of obedience. 

I'm not only human because I have the power through Christ, If we declare that we can do all things through Christ shouldn't that include resisting sin? You choose. 

Lets Talk About Sex Baby

Oh baby! The Elephant in the room...on your pew and in the choir stand *drum roll* SEX!

"We live in an age in which many people who claim to be "Christian" think that holiness and godliness are optional choices - available for those who want to be "super-spiritual," but not needed by people who want to be just "normal Christians." They may say that they "shouldn't" sin, but it doesn't bother them much when they do - at least not enough to cause them to do anything about it. The word "repentance" is not really a part of their vocabulary. Neither is the "fear of God."  -Some person

 I don't even know where to begin this has been in draft for some months because of fear and because it soooooo controversial. I myself have struggled with sex before marriage (fornication) being that I had a child out of wedlock.

SEX! EVERYBODY is doing it even Christians and then using the "you're only human" excuse, if they even use an excuse at all. Like Ima keep it extra real and some may not like it but the truth is....*turn me up sound man* as good as it may feel, sex before marriage is a sin and God has never been cool wit it. As a matter of fact He say in His Word: 

Ephesian 5:3 (NLT) Let there be no sexual immorality (the term fornication is used in KJV), impurity, or greed among you.Such sins have no place among God’s people (saints is used in KJV).  
* Ephesians 5:1-12 is the entire passage which should be read to fully get the jest of the verses*
...Ephesians 5:6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. 

Sooo in my skimming, reading, studying its pretty clear that Christians are not to engage sexual activities unless married so WHATS THE PROBLEM?
1. No one likes to be put on 1234 Front Street so often in The Church people try to hide their sin, they be on that creep creep tryna keep it on the *singing* dowwwwn low dowwwwn low.. Now you may tip around and keep folk out ya business OH but there is an All Seeing, All Knowing God whom we claim to love and sometimes obey. Everything done in the dark will come to light (Mark 4:22 NLT).
2. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT apparently because its not being talked about inside the four walls. We hear about getting our blessing and our season and taking back what the devil stole but what about sex, impatience, dealing wit temptation, stuff we need to get healed and delivered from. Pastors want pews to be filled and I feel they don't talk about sex and its effects on our spirit man because EVERYBODY (or so they think) is doing it and they don't want to lose members or offended anybody...thus pretty much cosigning the behavior. 
3. *singing* My minds telling me nooo but my bo-dyyyy, my bo-ddddy is telling me YESSSSSSSS -------> and I don't see nuthin wroooong <=== ok I think yall get my drift, our flesh aka human nature is a major problem. We simply wana do who what we want because it feels good sometimes.  
4. Trey Songz. <----- LOL. Ok I can NOT listen to...watch certain things cuz it get me all hot and bothered and I get to searching through my phone for easily found trouble. Anybody else? A show of hands please...Media is a stumbling block, SEX is everywhere even the cleaning commercials are sexy. Did anybody see the Magnum ice cream commercial? Its crazy oh and music videos...all inviting and thought provoking.
5. what problem...? "God know my heart"..."God ain't through wit me yet"..."Jesus is my homeboy". Jane Doe put it this way, "People try to make Jesus/God their 'homie' like He understands. Just becuase you're cool with it, doesn't mean He is! Duh!...Sex was made for the covenant of marriage not the promise of a friendship. We can't mock God's sacred institution by doing our own thing." [and there should be some evidence of Him working]
6. EVERYBODY is doing it. <----- wrong.FYI I know several people who are virgins and even some very successful celibate saints.

Im closing now, lol. So we have an issue...I've touched on a few problems, time to commint on a few solutions

So you "struggle" wit sex (or not), the temptation of it...How do you deal wit it? HELP!
"I pray hard! I try to avoid situations where my decision to be celibate gets questioned. If I find myself questioning 'Has these 3 yrs really been worth it?' or saying 'I know God forgives because He did last time I was here' then I've gone too far. Have there been times when I've 'been close'? Yes. It's not worth the guilt and disappointment of even being close. Mind you, I didn't have sex, but to get 'close' is just as bad in my opinion. Purity and holiness requires you to stay away all the way. It's hard, BUT possible. You have to know your boundaries. If you kiss and get all hot and bothered, maybe you shouldn't be kissing. It's nothing across the board. Just because you start lusting while holding hands, doesn't mean I do ya know? So you set your boundaries, make sure you're open about them, and stick to them." -Jane Doe

Dont walk where its slippery! If you know you shouldn't be at such n such house after a certain time HECK at ALL then don't be there <--- setting yourself up for the fail. I had a break in my celibacy and I had to confess my sin to God and ask for help because I knew me and I had to make up in my mind that I wasnt going to such n such house eva again...I'm praying to go a step further and cut such n such off alltogether because the relationship hinders my walk. If you are wit someone who doesnt want to perserve your purity and assist you in obeying God consider seeking God on whether they even belong in your life. Find accountability partners that will check you straight up. And look at who you are letting close to you. In 1 Corinthians 5:11 we are warned not even hang around believers who indulge in sexual sin! When I read that I was like WHOA.

Scripture isnt for reading like its a novel or for debates its to show us whats wrong in our lives and where we need help (2 Timothy 3:16 NLT). If you know you struggle in an area and know you need deliverance study that area. 1 Corithians 6:9-20 is a passge that speaks on avoiding sexual sin. Also Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7 speak on sexual immorality. Jane Doe points out that we have to understand why it grieves the heart of God. Sex is a sin just like lying, but the word says that it's a sin against our own body.

One great solution is to simply be obedient. EUREKA! People say they struggle with it...its no struggle you either gratify your flesh and sin or obey God's Word which is pretty clear. If you know better do better. You struggle when you put up a fight, if you yield to the Holy Spirit and deny your wants there will be no struggle.

Pray, Read, Obey

 

Ima Chase That There!

"Ladies tip: If he doesn't pursue you, he doesn't want you. Simple" @bereolaesque <----follow him ladies AND gentz

Mannnn I could go on and on to the break of dawn on this one! Society tells women to get what they want...its a new day...be a go getter <-----DON'T DO IT. Geesh this mentality has mess up so many women including myself. You put yourself out there for what you think may be potential when that "potential" is potentially looking at more potential ya follow (@Candirenee, Hehehe)!

The times may have changed but THEE Word has not and its pretty helpful if we actually apply it as we are suppose to for those of us who profess Christianity, if you don't then.... Check it:

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing,

And obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies

Now before i say anything...lemme just start off by saying ----> be nobodies fool ladies, you might get "pursued" for the pudding the cookies the candi ya know. Make sure you check motives and take things slow and ask questions. Been there, done that a few times and at this point in my life #SweetBrown AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT
                                                                      Before for I get off topic lemme bring it BACK! HE that FINDETH a WIFE <--- underline that in your bibles...nope, circle it. I meeeeeean I can even really explain that indepth cuz its pretty plain and simple, well I can say THIS...it does NOT say she that findeth a husband. From what I see, hear, and in my opinion for men its all about the chase...not that you have to play supa hard to get ladies but it appears as tho' the male species tend to gravitate towards those who don't throw themselves out there. They may play wit Miss Hott Pants or Miss Loud Mouf for awhile but it will neva be serious and she ain't goin' to meet Ma Dukes!

Ok *takes off invisibilty cloak* there was this guy I was digging we'll call him Edward (lol). It appeared he liked me, he said he was "attracted to me" I was feeling him...found myself checking on him all the time and seeing when he was available and what-not. I realized that he neva asked me out other than to his place *uhm hmm* and I felt like if he wanted to spend time with me to actually get to know me he would have perhaps been doing what I was doing...taking the initiative. To make a long blog short I fell all the way back and sat my lil hips down because I really want that someOne to want me back (wrote a poem about it, check me out mindtofingertipz.blogspot.com <---- shameLESS plug) and you run the risk of that not being the case when you go chasing a man who never initiated the chase or pursued you as a man should.

So Candi is learning that society dont know shhhhh......poop about the chase and that I don't have to be aggressive. While my Mr.Goodbar is being perfected Ima live, laugh, love and prepare myself to be found. And as a matter of fact when He comes He won't even have to chase me, once our paths cross we will continue to walk together...

Candi's ComMINTS
*ladies allow a man to be a man and pursue you
*don't play hard to get, either accept or decline graciously
*if being pursued, show appreciation

The Heavyweight Champ

All my life I had to fight...
                                      ...my momma, my sister, a roommate, an ex, lies, accusations,      
                                       my thoughts (not all physical some verbal and emotional)

For awhile now I have been on defense at all times, quick to battle, retaliate, argue my point , get the last word. Because of my size I made sure my bark was big enough which became who I was and made people afraid to address me out of fear that would "go off". My motto 'who gone check me boo?' and kinda still is.

I do a WHOLELOTTA ranting on social media and of course people always have something to say about what I gotta say and how I shouldn't say this or that and-er-ruh I be ready to go off bout that , like how you gone TELL ME what to do on MY page?!? Like don't just get a life...get YOURS <------that what I be thinking shoooooot gone tellll me...

my mode of protection has always been to either cut you up (verbally) or cut you out (off my life) and quickly with no remorse...stick and move BUT that is NOT the way to go, yea I knew it but it gratified my flesh, my human nature (I been talking lot about self gratification lately...hmmm)

Sooooo Mama Gina pulled me to the side one day after church and read me my rights! Uhm  hmmm she checked me! Now what all was said AINT NUNYA BIT'NESS but the moral of the message was that I didn't have to fight all the time because the battle is the Lords. <------ i was amped to do better BUT instead i got consumed with life and didn't address the issue....i heard but I didn't do (getting convicted as I type)

We living in a cold cold wooooorld ( Cold World by @Lecrae) where everybody is out for themselves ya know Me , Myself, and I is all I got in the e-end ( the Beyonce song) NOT TRUE you got The True and Living God if you have accepted Christ as Lord (If you don't now him hit me up anonymously and I can introduce you, He is a cool dude!)

ANYHOW yesterday Bishop Vaughn McLaughlin of the Potters House International Minitries aka Potters House aka PHCF <---- shameLESS plug ---- > what was I saying...OH YEA,  Bishop was reading from 2 Chronicles 20 about Jehoshaphat (King J) lil sit'ch'ation. Long story short (do go read it tho.) King J had a WHOLEBUNCHA haters that was tryna come side ways on em,, He wasn't ready for that pressure so instead of popping off King J went to seek guidance from the Lord (verse 3 NKJV) ...Good ol' God told em "You ain't e'en gotta worry about that, chill..I gotcha!" (verse 17) SO King J listened, didn't even have to put on his gloves and God came thru on His word and defeated his opposition for him. <--- now thats my version, its just 30 good verses so i urge you to check it out or else ima put the paws on ya, lol

I said typed all that to say share that everytime we don't agree with someone, or someone has offended us whether justified or not...or we feel like we gotta defend ourselves from who knows what to chill and let the Lord do His thing. In my experience things get ugly qik when I clean shop but when I let God fight my battles He handles it in a way I never could

So to my fellow hot heads...LET THE HEAVYWEIGHT HANDLE YOUR LIGHTWEIGHT

The Test I Passed

The devil thought he had me-eeee ahhhhhhh but-uh-ruuuuh

Sooooo remember that test I halfway past (that some thought I failed <--- who cares its my blog) well I'll have you know I had another encounter with the girlfriend of my sons father who I thought was a friend. Now if you didn't read my blog 'the test I half way passed' GETCHO LYFE and then come back and read this one! 

So yea the last test didn't go we'll but ahhh this one did. The ramification of the planned meeting is...NONE YA BIT'NEEX (touch ur nose and try NOT to use your imagination! LOL)  Know that None of this and I repeat NONE of this happened w/o Good ol' God so He gets all the glory and I thank Him <praise break>. 

So yea I have been battling forgiving this young lady a looooooong time...1 year 4months....10days....9hours....36minutes...59seconds. So many emotions, so many tears, so much bitterness, confusion, resentment and all other negative words associated with the afore mentioned. 

I have known unforgiveness was is an issue because The bible speaks on it ALOT but my emotions and feelings were running rampant and I was trying to reason with God and everybody else that she hurt me and trying to figure out why I had to let it go...move on...forgive her for "hurting me" I couldn't get it. Well my Naomi (spiritual mother) did what she does best and said something about me I DIDN'T like at the time that caused me to slide back and talk to God and really seek Him to deliver and heal and just do what He does best. In that time studied and prayed about forgiveness and asked God to help me understand it fully so that I could truly forgive the young lady in my heart because I knew it displeased God and she was a sister in Christ and He don't like His chirren to be at odds ( that's in the bible too, dust yours off and read it j/k..maybe). He did just what I asked. Every time I turned on the radio or looked at twitter or tuned into a Joyce Meyer podcast it was on forgiveness. I was excited because I knew he was providing me with what I needed. 

I had been thinking about how am I going to meet with her or get her to agree to talk face to face so we can settle it and I can be free from unforgiveness and we can be cordial because we share friends and she just maybe my sons stepmom if his dad doesn't mess this one up LOL! I wrote a letter and was going to have someone give it to her at a wedding in December but that was too far out for me! And then I found our friend had her bridal shower and didn't invite or tell me about it because the young lady helped plan it and I still feel some kinda way about that because that's a one time event BUT that's all ima say about that because I knew why its just.....anyway...so I called and cried to my good friend who is also a bridesmaid (too much friend sharing around here!) and told her how I felt and what I had been going through spiritually and she agreed to help set up a meeting and be a mediator and it happened and we talked peacefully getting out both sides and glory be to God! 

I don't do long blogs so I'm stopping now. Part 2 coming soon on what I learned about forgiveness and how important it is. If anybody is dealing with unforgiveness I just graduated with my PhD (personal healing degree) in it so if you need help contact me and I will tell you what I learned and pray with/for you if need be <----it's that serious. 

We go through to help others when it's there turn to make it through.

Thanks to Coco, Kris10 and Beda oh and I can't for get Leeyah

It's illegal to Spank your Child?!

I'm putting on my invisibility cloak as I type this. I think its important for people to see that Christians fall sometimes and go through and that we need the Word of the Lord to keep us from doing so....to correct us....show us the right way. ( that's a whole-nother blog right there! )

Sooooo if you are my "friend" on FB you might have saw my rant about me telling a lady off about telling me how to discipline MY son. If you didn't , looooong story short Aiden fell out in a store and we left, I sat him in the car and was explaining to him that when he falls out in public it constitutes a spanking, he understood. A lady asked if everything was ok with him blah blah blah and told me that I'm not suppose to spank my child. WELL y'all Candi flipped...bump stumbling I fell...and cursed her smoooooth out! <------ NOT indicative of a Christian to be clear, that was pure flesh. In that moment I felt justified. Not that I was justified in cursing out but in being upset with her. I couldn't believe some stranger tried to tell me how to discipline or the lack thereof the child that I carried and pushed out my body WHAAAAAAAT....that aunt it...a bystander told the police I was beating a child in my car (not only a lie but CRAY CRAY)so He came and checked into the matter and apologized for having to bother me after hearing both side "Just doing my job"...."me too".

 Got me to thinking...

1. So is spanking YOUR child illegal?
2. Should you not spank YOUR child in public when they act up out of fear that someone who
doesn't discipline their child ( if they even have any) will reprimand you the parent or tell the authorities what they please?
3. If you can't spank/pop YOUR child in public what are your options? ( me personally I don't want my child thinking that falling out and screaming in public is acceptable, if I wait 30min to spank him when we get home...I'll prolly forget thus NOT reinforcing the bad behavior)?
4. What should you do when confronted by someone you don't know who has a problem with how you handle YOUR child?

NOW i don't have the answers to all the questions but I do know that spanking your child is NOT illegal. I got some good godly advice about the last one. Aidens dear, sweet aunty informed me sweetly that instead of going off I should have used the opportunity to witness and explain godly discipline. After I simmered down I realized that she was right! Ugh I was so upset with me...I always pop off at the mouth before I even have a chance to even think about thinking! So of course I had to go and tell God how ugly I acted and apologize and ask forgiveness and then look into wat a proper response should have been and shall be in the instance that occurs again (pray church).

So parents, future parents, aunties. uncles and grannies! If someone ever tries to correct you on how you discipline YOUR child their are many instances in the bible that can be used to witness or to explain why you do what you do. You can share on proper discipline or use the analogy of how God disciplines those He calls His children.

Parental discipline:
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. (Proverbs 13:24 NKJV)

*Don’t fail to discipline your children.
They won’t die if you spank them. Physical discipline
may well save them from death. (Proverbs 23:13, 14 NLT)

God disciplines his children:
Hebrews 12:5-11

Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you for your own good. (Deuteronomy 8:5 NLT)

References
In the KJV the word chasten is normally used in place of discipline. The concordance on blueletterbible.com has both under Strongs number H4148 (H  = Hebrew)

1) discipline, chastening,correction

     a. discipline

     b. correction, chasening

Merriam Webster defines chasten as

      1: to correct by punishment or suffering 

Merriam Webster define discipline as

      1: punishment

Other verses: 2 Samuel 7:14; Job 5:17; Psalms 94:18; 119:75; Proverbs 3:11; Isaiah 38:16: Corinthians 11:32; Revelations 3:19

Can you discipline without soanking? of course but some things need physical discipline ( ie, falling out on the floor in stores)