My [Adult] Baby Can Read!!

The ABC's of my journey: ACCOUNTABILITY - having 3+ friends on this journey with me. BALANCE - nutrition, exercise, and rest.  CONSISTENCY - set a goal and keep at it until it becomes a lifestyle! DISCIPLINE - ViSalus, WW, gym, whatever: they all work, but not without the big D!!

reginat.bodybyvi.com  <===== (shameLESS plug )

So! My Suga Buga Miss Regina posted the above greatness Sunday morning. I'm a skim reader so what grabbed me was ABC'S (my son Aiden only sings them a gagillion times a day and has me read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom a bazillion...back to the beat) ACCOUNTABILITY...BALANCE...CONSISTENCY...DISCIPLINE. <=== I neeeeed it in my life! lol

Does anyone know of anybody who began to read without having the foundation of the alphabet? I don't. The alphabet is fundamental to our learning. When Aiden was an infant I song the ABC song every time he cried. When he was 11 mos he repeated them after me! because of having heard them since birth! Once he knew what I was saying I showed them to him visually($4 floating letters for tub time), once he recognized them we moved to phonics and from there to his sight words. He is now 2.5 years old and reading! <=== step by step basic training. 

We go through out life reading in school and then once we graduate or go on whatever path we decide we sometimes forget the basic. How many of you still say your ABC? Ever look at them? NO...why would you right? your grown! Well sometimes we adults need to have a refresher that can get us through the now. I'm not going to sing to you when I see some of you (well, maybe I will) or make you sound out your vowels but I want you to think about your ABC's as you read mine and then think of your own. You are never to old for ABC'S!!!

I want God to be like "My baby can read!!!!! LOL

Accountability                                                 
Balance                                                           
CONSISTENCY                                                
Discipline                                                        
Encourage [others]                                         
Faith                                                               
Give                                                               
Holiness [is not optional]                                 
Intercede [or pray for others]                         
Joy [comes from contentment]                      
Kindness 
Love                                                        
Meditate [on scripture and apply]                    
No Weapon...  
Overcome
PRAY
Quiet Time
Rejoice
Study
Thankful
Understanding
Vision [write it and make it plain]
WORSHIP
X <==== UMMMM...HMMM...just praise him for the letter X, LOL 
Yield [to the Holy Spirit]
Zeal [be passionate, on fire]

Unanswered Questions....

I wrote a blog called Ima Put It Down You Gone Fall In  love while back. the blog was about knowing or not knowing when to put your guard down in respects to relationships. I asked that people answer the 3 simple questions that I posted at the end because I didn't have the answers because its something I struggle with. So many people read the post but only one responded. So again 

1. How do you guard your heart? (biblical or personal experience and tips)

2. Is there a such thing as guarding your heart too much?

3. How do you know when to "put it down"?

If you don't wana put yourself out there please respond anonymously or shoot me a text or FB message because I really want feedback on this one folks.

Reaching Ouuut!

Hi there! Candi here! So! (I like exclamation marks...ok I got sidetracked) I wrote a blog called What The What about me re-re-transitioning my blog so that I could please God and talk about topics that were relevant and needed. It has been going pretty well with a few of blogs but hey....*shrugs* it happens. I'm writing just reaching ouuuut to update you all on shenanigans. 

Anywho so last week a lady came to my desk and said how she heard I had a blog and that she was going to read it. She walked off and the VP of Human Resources walked up and said she over heard and would like me to send her a link to my blog. I FREAKED OUT on the inside!!!!! Like not only is she the VP of HR but she is like my role model I can't even been to describe her and how she carries herself and conducts business. I DIDN'T WANT HER TO READ ALL MY EBONICS AND SLANG...I WRITE HOW I TEXT AND TALK OUTSIDE OF WORK. Sooooo unprofessional! Ahhhhh. <===== This is what I went through in my head. So I went and was deleting and editing and just losing it! 

So after I GOT MY LIFE i calmed down and was thinking...hmmmmm...maybe its time to revamp again so that I can have a broader audiences....so that people won't lose the message because they are too busy trying to read through the slang. My goal as a blogger is still to be witty, funny and encouraging...me sharing what I go through, what I observe et cetera...et cetera, I just don't wana (ha! slang, lol...want to) be able to make my blog relevant [readable <--- whoa] to more people. 

I appreciate my readers
I appreciate the Comminters

and please read...commint...and SHARE my goodies!!!!!

Wat Ever Happened To Talking?

Communication, communication, communication...so important.

I never learned how to communicate growing up, not something my family really did, never talked to my mom about anything I ever went through and I'm about to be 25. As time went past my way of communication became my way or the highway...i talk you listen and that's it...if you oppose me, i shut down because you attacking me and so on and so forth ===> just bad communication all around.

Lost so many important people in my life due to the lack of communication. Almost lost one yesterday(12-31-12)!!!! Its real outchea...but straight miscommunication and not communicating verbally will get you every time.

We are living in times where verbal communication and actually meeting up with people face to face is just about unheard of. Everybody is on social media and everyone is texting even grandmas and the lil babies! Everything is so impersonal ugh!!! Like I have more conversation through text and onine then anything.

At what point do we pick up the phone and say  "Hey, how are you [really] doing?" ===> Ah but then again we put all our business on social media so we pretty much know how each other is really doing....Like I check FB just to see how people are doing...the good, the bad AND the ugly. I have found out about engagements, births, break ups, and divorces first via the internet. Like seriously?! I just wish we could go back to really keeping in touch with people. Sp often poeple fall by the wayside if they aren't om social media...people have to announce that they are fasting from or leaving social media temporarily so they won't be forgotten.

Relationship are broken and damaged due to poor communication or just nonexistent communication. We text all of our feelings in a message instead of picking up the phone or meeting face to face...which in my experience isn't good because text holds no tone so you can text something and it can be taken the wrong way. That has happened to me ALOT so I learned to not text important conversation and feelings but to just wait until I can see that person or at least talk verbally so I can hear their tone.

Ooh and don't you hate when you call somebody and they text you back...argh!!!!

Before I go off on a tangent I just want to challenge everyone who reads this to communicate better....instead of haviing a full out convo on FB or Twitter pick up the phone and call someone you haven't talk to in awhile and tell me how it goes, I don't get em much but I LOVE commints.

Good But Not Good Enough

Singleness...Lonliness...randoms...compromise

I have been single for awhile now *rolls eyes* , it use to be easy for me to not entertain what Heather Lindsey calls a random [a person you KNOW you'll never marry but you date them to fill a void because you are lonely or bored]. I was always around my girls or going to some function. The Christian functions became few and people started falling off and getting boo'd up or just to busy to hang out.  AND THEN cuffing/wedding season hit! ugh. Cuffing season became my open season because I became vul-ner-able...I wanted attention too...I wanted a boo...I wanted to be around some testosterone...I wanted to be caking on the phone all day...it was just sickening...JUST...SICKENING! 

So watching everyone be all lovie dovey on social media and all in my face it made the loneliness that I had been suppressing surface...or re-surface. My saved friends were busy and nobody was getting together unless I just didn't get the memo so I started "finding my own way" going back "out" hitting the club scene, trying to meet new "fun" people. <=== this opened up the door to randoms which started knocking on the door of compromise. 

I was giving out my number to randoms left and right even when I had a gut feeling that it wouldn't go anywhere soooo they usually got cut from the team almost immediately. 

Ah but there is this one...he isn't a normal random per se because I know him but then again do you really know a person (ok I'm being too much, lol) This one is a sweetheart, handsome and educated.  If I need some attention he is good for it, he listens and I enjoy his company. Sigh. Single, lone, random...compromise. I am too attracted to this man that a lot of times I have to run from him because I know me and this flesh. I have fallen by the wayside to this man and have to get up, dust myself off and get missing. So many great qualities but yet the most important for me is not there. We are not on the same level spiritually. I need someone that is going to walk with me...press towards Jesus not cause me to stumble and be cool wit it. I want to be with someone that follows Christ and not just professes to but you can see it in his daily life. Someone who protects my body. 

Like I can't get this dude off my mind but I know that even though he is good he isn't good for me. And then I ask myself why am I attracted to him? Is it because I am single? Lonely? I know for sure he isn't the one for me and that there are a lot of qualities that he lacks that I need...so why compromise? Why waste time?

I don't have those answers just yet but what I do know is that I love God more than a temporary fix of a man that isn't interested in my walk with Christ. As painful sometimes and as lonely as this time in my life may be I have to make the decision to not compromise and to trust God.

Mama's Baby...Daddy's maybe

Soooooo some chick that has NEVA given birth to a living organism felt the need to tell someone elses child that "mommies make rules and daddies play and have fun with kids" she told this to a child whose parents have been recently divorced. Who qualified her and gave her the right! The daddy should have checked her and told his kids that was not true!!! 

I AM SO EXTRA TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE KIDS GIVING OUT PARENTAL ADVICE!!!! 

 I grew up with my parents separated and sadly my son is as well so I have been through this and feel it might be going on with my son as far as I know. My mom did everything for us...EVERYTHING and on the weekends when my dad got us he played with us all day, there were no rules and we got whatever we want. You know what that meant to me...NOTHING, it meant that I took my mom seriously, reverence her and knew she would be there when it really mattered and that when as a child when I felt my mom had "too many rules" I could just go to dad because he was more of a friend than a dad and that's just me being real. When I got to the point where I had friends guess who got replaced...my adult sized playmate. 

OF COURSE a kid is going to want to stay with the parent who doesn't have rules...who wouldn't that doesn't mean the mother is not a good mom...its called parenting. Too many parents are trying to be their friend and when the kids go up in two homes it can cause tension from one home to the next. ===> te kids telling their fun dad they don't wana go home because mommy yells so now He thinks she is a bad parent we isn't there to see them not listening, being told to do things repeatedly, breaking stuff, fighting, and the list can go on.....he doesn't see that so he thinks he is supa dad cuz he plays with them nonstop....good for you and a pat on the back. When they get sick lets see who gets called and who knows all the allergies, prescriptions, etc.===> Mama's Baby...Daddy's Maybe.

I can't tell you what goes on between my son and his dad because I don't see it and it drives me crazy. I know he plays with him alot but when it comes to rules, discipline...idk what goes on because its 4 other people present to pick up his slack [if he slacks...idk]. I do feel like Aiden prefers his dad over me because he plays with him differently than I do and that's fine because I know he loves me and when it gets real, he comes to mommy. 

Parents
-For parents who raise their kids separately I feel like they should come together to make sure people by the wayside aren't telling their kids something that can cause tension among. They should back each other so that the kids can see that even if in a separate home. 
-Outside people and girlfriends of friends should NOT have an input on anything! 
- focus more on being a parent and not a friend...Balance. If you are a good parent they will consider you their friend

*oh yea...my blog, my point of view...carry on*

Sex, I mean...Saved In The City

Claiming salvation is one thing...being saved and trying to die daily to that willing flesh is a WHOLE-NOTHA monkey u here me!!!!! Y'all talk about struggles SHEESH the struggle is living holy, not falling to a tall 6'sumthin" healthy back wit dreds....OH <=== that's just me? *looks around* the struggle is holding this sharp tongue when somebody deserve to get THEE business! 

Mannnnn it's HARD out'chea being 'Saved in The City' let me be the first TA tell ya! I done been there cussed ya granny out and came back ( I kid,  I kid).

So when you tryna live for God, and I mean really it's just something's you have to let go, some places you need to speed past and some people [6'sumthin" healthy back wit dreds] you need to NOT make eye or any contact wit <==== point blank annnnnnd the period. [apparently this paragraph is directed towards me.....I gotta do betta] 

So yea the social scene for one trying to live holy....I'm still looking for it. I feel like in the "Christian" community it's not much to do and if it is the advertising and word of mouth SUX gum balls. I feel like people stay in the world or try straddling the fence because they feel living for God isn't fun. NOT TRUE! Who are you hanging around? In the times I get together with other believers we have a full out BLAST. I'm not sure if its not a lot going on for Christians because there are so many who claim God but don't live for Him or if people are just hermits or WHAT but I'm single and been ready to mingle...

Mingle...where at tho? The club is always jumping and there are people there....yea,true BUT does it hinder or help your Christian walk? Hmmm questions that [should] need answering. Well for me I know the answer...aint't got no business in it!!! I go out of boredom and because often times the "saints" don't go marching in to their own events. Am I going to do something about? Yes. I believe that if you know something hinders your walk or doesn't benefit it or goes against it completely then you need to make the necessary changes to do betta. [I'm getting ahead of myself....]

Lemme hit ya wit some Word #POW ===> All things are legitimate [permissible--and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character]  and  edifying [to spiritual life]. (1 Corinthians 10:23 AMP)

Its so easy to get pulled back into old shenanigans because it ain't nothing going on. So so easy to go back to the club 'just to dance". [here is where I catch up] I did that recently actually because none of my saved friends were ever available or no one wanted to go out because of this that and the third. So I been going out alot and having a great time and meeting new people! People who cant help me at all in my walk...its coming to the end of the road but yet I'm tired of reaching out to people who want to do nothing but stay at home and complain about there being nothing to do. I think I saw a few Christian friendly event but I thought about how I pay nothing to get in a club or lounge so I chose the free option being that I'm a college student on a supa tight budget. Even when I have went to Christian event they be real skip, you can see the walls. No participation. 

Sooo whats a girl TA do?! <=== find alternatives! Find some people who have your best interest at heart that will keep you accountable  hang with them, suggest outings. This New Year' Eve I worked the nursery at church and headed over to @DeterminedDeac crib and a few of us hung out and had an awesome time. I have been gong to a few poetry spots lately and found a great live band in Jacksonville [The Katz Downstairs] so there are things to do you just have to make up in your mind that one you want to live for God and not just get in with Fire Insurance and not focus on whether a person place or thing is bad but is it definitely good [does it help or hurt your walk]. 

Check Yaself B4 Ya Reck Yaself!

"Self -examination gives us an opportunity to do what needs to be done before God has to do it for us." - Bishop Van McLaughlin

I was so touched,pricked,convicted, spoken to by the word taught by Bishop Van McLaughlin of The Potters House International Ministries TA-night I just wanted to share my notes.

He titled his teaching : How did you do last year? Pass or Fail

Verse of Scripture was 2 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT) Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you[a]; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.

After he read that verse you didn't hear amen...you heard everybody go uhmmm, I'm talking immediate conviction fell over the sanctuary. He could have read that verse and just took the offering and closed it on out!!! 

Bishop McLaughlin gave 7 parts of "The Test" for us to examine ourselves against to see how well we did spiritually.

1. Personal Holiness: So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1, 2 MSG)

     - were you dedicated to God? Romans 6:13

2. Conduct: So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. (Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT)

     -did you represent Christ only on Sunday's? Only on social media? Only in church?

3. Influence: Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence  and  your praiseworthy, noble,  and  good deeds and recognize  and  honor  and  praise  and  glorify your Father Who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 AMP)

     -have you influenced those around you or have they influenced you?

4. Your Love: Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. (1 John 3:18 NLT)

    - did you only love those who loved you?

5. Attitude: You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5, 8 NLT)

6. Giving: “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! “But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ “You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. (Malachi 3:8 NLT)

7. Your Witness: But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8 NLT)

     -have you been a witness at school, work, home,etc? Or do you keep the good news to yourself...

Our "Professor", God, is in the business of giving make up work so you can pass the test. The test is pass or fail only. Heaven or hell. Saved or not. 

You can't go back in the past but you can repent of what you have done and trust God to deliver and keep you. 

Candi's ComMINT

Yea this message was good and much needed. I promise everyone their that night was in thought because it was hush hush all ova with a few Amens. The scriptures were on point. After listening I wanted to say to myself I didn't do to bad...but being that it was pass or or fail...I failed. I went through major heartbreak which led to unforgiveness and anger, struggled in my finances (lack of self control), fell to temptation, and I could go on. So grateful God is my Teacher and that he has shown me something's and I want to take what I learned from Bishop and apply it and seek God to help me so I can pass the test. So glad He lets us redo and that He is patient. For those of us who know better we have got to do better and stop putting on for social media and Sunday church goers because God is watching us at all times. 

Hope this helps someone, love ya readers! 

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:9 NLT)

Officially Unofficial

Yep this is about those that are together BUT not really. Like is it just me or is this the new dating?! 

Ok so you met Mr.Right Now and everything is going great. He sends the "good morning beautiful " text, checks on you during lunch, and wants to actually spend time and get to know you unlike what I call these 'now-a-dayz' ninjas...ur needs are met emotionally and things are good. <=== sounds like a relationship to me but its not officially...Some men feel that this is the best relationship to be in no strings attached no ball and chain so when the going gets tough...he is outta there.

So you are happy cooking and cleaning and feeling all bubbly and loved giving up your cookies and I ain't talking Tollhouse! You want the relationship to go further but you don't want to bring it up because he hasn't. Well let me tell you sista girl ===> If you don't, he won't <===that was free of charge! I mean why would he?!?! You already playing the role so what would make him....buy the cow if he is already getting the milk?
You always telling your homegirl about Mista Mista and everybody confused because it looks like a relationship and sounds like one but when asked about it you don't really have an answer. NO, you give the answer that he has been giving you ===> "We just chilling and its good now, whatever happens...happens" <=== Oh hell to the NO! That may be fluffy and cute at first but after investing so much time and electricity into cooked meals and what-not some conversations need to be had and some decisions made.

After spending so much time with a person they should know whether or not the relationship will go further. Now a dayz you need a witness and a notary on deck for some of these relationships...better yet just don't assume you are in one if it hasn't been discussed even if you feel like you are in one. Feelings are fickle and so are relationships without titles (or understanding).

Now what I don't understand is why so many woman settle and stay in these unofficial relationships. Maybe I could understand if there were no complaining but to complain about being in a situation that you can use your two feet to walk out of is what I don't get. I asked a few woman and they said complacency and financial security were the main reason they have stayed in such an arrangement. How long is your security though? You put in the time and someone else comes along and gives your dude an "I'm not with that elusve-ish" ultimatum and she gets the commitment and you get the curb! <=== Sista girl you really don't want that type of pressure and I don't wana see you on the next episode of Snapped or How I Almost Got Away...#ijs. 

"Sure nobody wants to be lonely but sometimes it beats being a fool" - Candi Renee

*Verbalize expectations, needs, and wants early on in a relationship
*ASSume nothing...ask

Bah Humbug and a Merry CHRISTmas!

I come in contact with so many people on my job being that I am a receptionist of a hospital...duh! I love the Holidays yet I hate the Holidays. Everyday and most of the day I get asked "Are you ready for Christmas?" <===== soooo tired of people asking me this UGH.

So the guy at work asked me "Are you ready for Christmas"
                                                                                     "What does that mean?", replied/asked
"Oh you Scrooge!", he said (jokingly)

The next day he came to the desk and told me when someone ask "Are you ready for Christmas" they are inquiring of if you have all your shopping done, if the tree is up, if the groceries are on deck. CHYLE to the BOO!!!! Thats dat ____ I don't like (I need the hook to this song outta my head). And THUS the reason I hate the Holidays. Christmas has become the season of debt, being dubbed a bad parent if you don't get ur lil bae-bae kids what they want, people being trampled in stores, chaos in the parking lots just MADNESS. I went to Toys R Us and yall should have seen the parents and other adults in there it was like the end of times scrambling to buy gifts...going broke for one day out the year and then December 26th hits and reality kicks the door right on in. 

I mean when did Christmas become all about gifts? What does Christmas really mean? Its sooooo much out there about what Christmas really is its ridiculous but what it is not or should not be is a battle of who can buy the most. 

True story yo, Christmas has been around since foreverary! The word Christmas comes from the Old English Cristes Maesse, which means "the Mass of Christ." To me and many Christians and some who "claim" to be, Christmas is celebrated to remember the birth of Christ. <=== And THUS the reason I love the Holidays! Yessss to SWEET BABY JESUS! * Luke 2:1-35 has the most detailed account about the birth of Christ in the bible and Matthew 2:1-12 details the wise men's encounter. Soooooo after having re-read these passages (12-17-12) I AM READY for CHRISTmas!

I am ready to thank the Lord!
I am ready to praise and rejoice!
I am ready to love!
I am ready to give (and not just gifts)! 
I am ready to fellowship!

Bah Humbug and a Merry CHRISTmas to ALL!